No
by keru.m
Summary: A boy with his mother's taste, or - in Harm's opinion - lack thereof.


Disclaimer: Don't own'em

A/N: This takes place in the 'Home' universe. Some of you requested more of Jacob, so here you are. Let's say this happens before H&M get married in that story, but after they agree to. We just need Jacob to be of a suitable age for this snippet.

--

**No**

"Open wide, Jake." Harm said. "Aah," He added, opening his own mouth wide to illustrate.

Jacob sealed his lips together and shook his head, dubiously eying the bowl containing his dinner.

"Come on, Jake," Harm cajoled, waving a spoonful of food in front of the recalcitrant boy. "I promise you'll love it. Just a taste. Open up; aah."

Jacob squeezed his lips shut even tighter.

Harm sighed, trying to quell his exasperation.

"Harm?" Mac entered the kitchen, a grocery bag in one arm and their dry cleaning in the other. "What have you been up to? It smells terrible in here." She put the bag on the counter and draped the dry cleaning over a chair.

Harm scowled. Great. Just what he needed: another one.

"Don't encourage him, Mac," He scolded.

"Mama!" Jacob squealed excitedly. He opened his mouth to say more, and Harm took the opportunity to thrust a spoonful of food at him. Jacob, however, was quicker to the draw. He clamped his mouth shut quickly, and the spoon ended up colliding with his chin.

A victorious, smug gleam lit the toddlers' eye. Ha, it said to Harm.

Mac grinned. "Jake, are you giving daddy a hard time?" She gave Jake a kiss on the top of his head and Harm a kiss on his cheek in greeting. "Mr. Khan at the dry cleaners said they needed more time to get the stain out of your uniform. He also said that next time you shouldn't give Jacob grape juice in your summer whites." She leaned her hip against the kitchen table, splitting a questioning glance between Harm and Jacob. "Why aren't you letting him feed himself? It may help."

Harm didn't bother hiding his impatience. "Right. Tell Khan-the-Obvious I appreciate his advice. And I tried letting him feed himself," Harm told her, increasingly annoyed by Jake's lack of cooperation. "He just kept playing with his food. Wouldn't even taste it."

"What are you feeding him?" Mac wrinkled her nose. "You know, it smells really familiar. And disgusting..." She trailed off, shock mingling with the recognition that suddenly dawned. "I know that smell! It's your meatless meatloaf!"

"Mealstoff." Jacob repeated helpfully, looking at his mother. "Mama, mealstoff." He pointed at Harm.

"Harm!" She turned to face him squarely. He had never seen her look so appalled.

"What?" He defended. "This is really good for him."

"He doesn't like soy stuff! We've talked about this," Now she sounded exasperated. "Remember how much he hated the tofu bits you tried to sneak into his marinara sauce? I told you not to do it. He didn't eat pasta for two whole weeks! This is an important time for teaching him to enjoy good food. He'll skip meals if you keep this up." She stretched a hand out to take the bowl away from Harm. "Give it to me."

"It's good for him." Harm insisted, moving the bowl out of her reach. "And it tastes good." He took a healthy bite to illustrate his point. "Yum," He said to Jacob. "Yummy yum," He added for emphasis.

Jacob frowned at Harm, eyeing his dinner with distrust.

"Yummy," Harm said again.

"Give it to me." She demanded.

"No. Stop that, Mac," Harm scolded. "You're just encouraging him."

"No!" Jacob giggled "Stop!"

Mac glanced at Jacob, and then gave Harm a pointed look, eyebrow arched.

"I'm encouraging him?" She said in a tone she reserved for his denser moments. "I want him to enjoy food. If you keep throwing soy at him, he'll go on a hunger strike. Then we'll be in trouble."

"He shouldn't be so picky," Harm declared. "This is really good stuff. Yum," He added for Jacob's benefit.

"He is not picky." Mac argued.

"And this is really tasty meatless meatloaf," Harm continued, purposefully ignoring Mac. He took another heaving bite to demonstrate the wonders of meatless meatloaf to Jacob."Yummy-yummy yum-yum." He rubbed his tummy to emphasize his point. "Delicious and tasty. Yummy."

Jacob shook his head. "No." He declared.

"It is not tasty. It's toxic." Mac muttered.

"Stop dogging my famous meatless meatloaf!" Harm exclaimed in annoyance. This was all very insulting, Harm thought. Mac was mocking his famous dish, and Jacob wasn't even trying it.

"Neither of us like it, Harm," Mac placated in what Harm deemed to be a patently insincere tone. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not." He groused, offended and not willing to let this go.

"You're being too sensitive." She objected, hands on her hips.

"You're being insensitive." He frowned, looking at the bowl of food in his hands. "Always dogging my meatless meatloaf."

"Oh, alright." Her sigh was nothing short of dramatic. "I'll try and be more sensitive, and you try and be less."

"You try and be more sensitive and I won't have to be less." He shot back.

She laughed, sliding her fingers through his hair. She tugged his earlobe. "You're funny."

He wasn't trying to be funny. And he was going to ignore her attempts to allay his annoyance.

He shook his head. He was not ready to be mollified Instead, he glared at Mac. "I'm serious. This is really good." He took another healthy bite. "Yummy." He remembered that he was supposed to be convincing Jacob, not Mac, so he turned back to Jacob and repeated, "Yummy."

Jacob just stared at him, looking thoroughly unconvinced.

"You haven't even tasted it, Jacob," Harm objected. "Look, even mommy will taste it."

Jacob looked at Mac with expectant brown eyes.

"I will not!" Mac was adamant. She took three steps away from Harm. He rolled his eyes. Mother and son apparently shared a taste for the dramatic.

Jacob's eyes widened at the scene in front of him. He glanced at Harm, and then back at Mac. He looked confused and a bit wary.

"You are not teaching him good eating habits, Mac." Harm ground out, his voice edgy with impatience.

Jacob looked from Mac to Harm. He frowned.

"No." He scolded Harm, eyebrows pulled down in a warning scowl.

"Daddy's just teasing mommy." Mac smoothed back Jake's bangs from his forehead. "And you have good taste, Sweetie. Doesn't he, Harm?"

Jake grinned. "Mama." He clapped his hands and bounced in his seat.

For the umpteenth time, Harm rolled his eyes.

"It's not my fault your meatless meatloaf tastes so disg—" She stopped herself with a glance at Harm, and amended, "Isn't to our liking." She seemed rather pleased with herself. "How's that for being more sensitive."

Harm scoffed. "Not even close. Just taste it." He lifted the spoon towards her.

"No." Mac said. She moved away.

"No." Jacob repeated, shaking his head. He thought it was a game now, so he laughed.

Harm took a deep breath. Mac for her part, looked slightly guilty at Jacob's mimicking her.

"Mac." Harm raised an eyebrow, and forced his voice to sound pleasant, lest her pint-sized protector jump into the fray again. "Just taste it."

She looked from Harm to the spoon to Jacob, and back to Harm. "Oh, fine." She bent forward to meet the spoon halfway.

"Look Jake, even mommy loves daddy's meatless meatloaf." Harm said, nodding at Jacob.

He gave Mac a big spoonful. The food had barely passed her lips when Mac's expression twisted into a frown of disgust. She didn't bother chewing the food, just quickly gulped it down. She tried to mask her wince, but failed dismally. The effect would have been comical, except Harm was too offended to find humour in this.

He really didn't think his meatless meatloaf was that bad.

"Mm," Mac said to Jacob with painful exaggeration.

Jacob looked from his mom to the bowl of meatless meatloaf. His frown was now replaced with curiosity.

Harm took a spoonful of the dish, and brought it to Jake's mouth. "Here comes the plane!" He weaved and dipped the spoon about a bit, until Jake was laughing. It was the perfect opportunity to put the spoon in the boy's mouth, which is exactly what Harm did.

"Yummy, right?" He asked eagerly, as he watched intently for Jacob's reaction.

Jacob's expression went from laughter to confusion to horror. He opened his mouth and pushed his tongue out, letting it jut out over his lower lip. The meatless meatloaf slid from his tongue in small wet clumps, slopping down his chin and sloshing onto his bib. He looked at Harm, full of hurt and distrust. His eyes filled with tears, his face went red and he started wailing. Big, fat tears rolled down his cheeks.

He leveled a very accusing, pitiful look at Mac, and then a significantly more hostile one at Harm. And he just kept wailing.

Harm's jaw dropped. He was too shocked by this response to feel either panic or guilt. His meatless meatloaf was not that bad. "It's not that bad, Jacob! Maybe if you tried it one more time." He brought another spoonful to Jacob's mouth, but that just caused the boy to intensify his wails. He shook his head from side to side furiously. Mac rushed to get the paper towel roll for the mess.

Harm gave up. He threw the spoon in the bowl and stared at its contents. It really wasn't that bad.

"You know what," He looked up at Jake. "It is your problem. This is really good stuff." He said sullenly. This was very insulting. His meatless meatloaf was amazing. He'd made up the recipe himself. It was fantastic, delicious. A burst of flavour. No doubt about it. These two were the ones with problems, not his meatless meatloaf. "Now there's just more for me."

"Harm!" Mac berated, now back with paper towels. She began mopping up the mess Jake had made of his famous meatless meatloaf. "You're supposed to be the adult!" She cleaned up Jacob's face, and handed him his sippy cup with water in it.

"Here, Sweetpea. Drink some water," She soothed. "Daddy will get you pasketti for dinner." She gave Harm a pointed look.

At the mention of pasketti, Jacob's wails suddenly stopped. He sniffed once, rubbing his eyes with his hands. He took the sippy cup from his mom and held it like a lifeline.

"Ketti?" He said in a tiny voice, as though it was too much to hope for.

"With chicken," His mother soothed. "And daddy's sauce."

"Tauce? 'Icken?" He said, looking doubtfully at Harm.

Harm fought to keep from rolling his eyes. He might as well give in. This boy had definitely inherited his mother's histrionics. And bad taste.

"I'll get you pasketti, Jake." He stood up, setting aside his incredibly tasty and healthy meatless meatloaf. He sighed once he'd turned his back to the two, and muttered, "Although you should give the meatless meatloaf another try—"

"Harm!" Mac interjected. Obviously she would hear that, Harm thought. "He doesn't like it," She continued. He could hear her roll her eyes. "It's his prerogative."

Whatever, thought Harm. Jake just had poor taste. He was a good cook. He was just dealing with an uncultured audience.

He felt Mac come up beside him. She rested her hand on his arm. Reluctantly, he looked down at her, and was met with warm brown eyes. He could admit it made him feel just a little better to be looked at like that by her. Just a little.

"Harm, honey, he still does love your homemade sauce." She sounded just as she had when she'd soothed Jacob moments ago. "It's his favourite. And mine."

"I know." He said feeling a bit despondent. True: Jake did love his sauce. But be that as it may, he was not yet ready to resign himself to this fate.

"Are you okay?" Her hand caressed his arm.

He nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay."

"Okay," Mac repeated. She kissed him, slow and sweet, and Harm felt even more okay.

She went back to tending to Jacob, who was still upset by his run in with the finer foods in life. Harm opened the fridge and removed a container of sauce and another of pasta. You can't win'em all, he told himself.

Maybe though, the idea occurred as he put Jake's dinner in the microwave, he'd make a half-meat, half-meatless meatloaf next time. Jake probably wouldn't even notice the difference from the usual meatloaf. Then they could work their way up from there.

He grinned. There might be hope for the boy yet.


End file.
